The Plan

* If you want to find vicious racism on the internet, it isn’t exactly hard - but what boggles my mind is the racism you find in Youtube comments. You don’t get much more mainstream than Youtube, and it seems like ANY video that has more than a few hundred views will eventually devolve into a racist flamewar. Everybody hates everybody on Youtube. Find your favorite combinations, it’s fun!

* I’ve been tempted to start posting messages in whatever freaky-meet-me-in-an-alley Craigslist-style singles forums I can find, but I don’t know if that’s out of desperation or general self-loathing. I’m fairly sure that simply contemplating such an action has given me herpes.

* Carla Sabah’s Don’t Gag Me! website is up and happy. Check it out.

* The Dopler Effect is going strong. It’s pretty damn dark. I love it.

Unless you plan on describing how Tim Duncan’s actions in Game 4 differ from those of Stoudamire and Diaw, please stop talking. Thank you.

An unfinished song.
Two fires and an angry sea set me forth from the haven that had cradled me,

Made me long for a love that I’d have never believed in if I’d stayed.

Still I search but I don’t know anymore, will I be happy if I find what I’m looking for?

And I don’t look in the mirror because I know what I’ll see: two fires and an angry sea.

How do you tell a story to an audience that doesn’t hear?

And though I know I’m not ready for the things I don’t have

I die a little each day from the wanting so bad

Two fires and an angry sea burned a hole in my soul and drowned the best part of me

And I try to fill the void with the words that I sing but the pit remains.

I look but in my heart i don’t believe anymore that I’m ever gonna find what I’ve been searching for,

And I know now what I am but I don’t know what it means: I am two fires and an angry sea.

Two fires and an angry sea.

People who are angry at Barry Bonds for using steroids are kind of pathetic. Of all the people and groups that might deserve some blame for this sorry state of affairs, Barry is way the hell down at the bottom.

Third place goes to the MLBPA, for deciding that image is more important for their members than, say, functional testicles.

Second goes to the league, for half-assing the entire issue for years.

First place, of course, goes to you, Mr. & Mrs. Baseball Fan.

Why?

Because after the strike, you were so angry at baseball that you didn’t watch it as much. You told baseball you didn’t care anymore. And what brought you back?

Sosa and McGwire.

Two acne-scarred giant-headed monstrosities banging dingers.

You made it clear what you wanted to see, and you’re getting it.

No * for you.